Merging LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT and LONG DISTANCE AFFAIR

This blog is dedicated to those who believe in the power of LOVE-AT- FIRST-SIGHT experience.

Monday, August 29, 2005

HOW DO I LOVE THEE?*

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
for the ends of Being and Ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right:
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise:
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith;
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, - I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! - and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

*A sonnet by Elizabeth Browning lifted from http://www.geocities.com/Paris/LeftBank/2940/browning1.html

Wednesday, August 24, 2005


pierre, the man of my dreams Posted by Picasa

george loves pierre Posted by Picasa

I LEFT MY HEART IN BANGKOK

I felt saturated in Manila. I badly needed a change of environment. This had been my disposition since I realized that I have already been staying in this Philippine capital for almost four years now. It all started when from my far province in the northern part of the Philippines I went to the UP in Quezon City for my college studies. That was June of 2002.
The complexity of city life had spellbound me during my first year in manila but such a fascination eventually waned as years passed by. Till I reached the point of saturation – the time when I could no longer bear the complexity and artificiality of the city life style. My life in the city has been very different from the simple and natural way of life in the countryside which I used to live. Immediately, I thought of trying something new like embarking on an adventure before I totally crumble. Months after that realization, I found myself in Bangkok, Thailand.
Choosing Bangkok as my destination for escape seems contradictory to what I was complaining for. At the outset, that’s true after all Bangkok like Manila is a big, crowded city. However I have my own reasons why I chose Bangkok. First, it is the capital of Thailand and therefore the melting pot of the Thai culture and traditions. I have always been interested in Thai culture since I started reading about it. Second, I wanted an adventure and BKK seemed to be the perfect place to be. Those simple reasons I believe suffice my decision.
In BKK I got more than what I have asked. In my very short stay there, I was blessed with countless adventures, both major and minor ones. First adventure had something to do with the Thai language. In short the communication adventure. Thanks for the aid of sign language because finally the cab driver understood that I wanted to go to a hotel after my endless repetition of the phrase “I want to go to a hotel”. Had I known that a simple act of sleeping is all it takes for him to understand me I would have not wasted my time speaking in English over and over. The lesson I learned from this is that I should have not forgotten that Thailand is a monolingual country and therefore I should have had knowledge of some conversational Thai phrases to compensate. So the taxi brought me to a hotel but poor me the hotel is among the most expensive hotels in town. My tight budget was badly hurt when I had to pay 100 dollars a night for my accommodation. My decision of taking that hotel made me very depressed as I began to realize how much was taken from my budget. I kept telling myself then that I was foolish and stupid. Having overcome my self-disgusting moment, I essayed to go out but the cab driver simply did not understand me when I told him where to go. We have already crossed a long way when I realized we were heading to now where so I requested him that we go back to the hotel. To my surprise, the driver understood me that he said, “ yes…U turn Montien”. Back in the hotel, I decided to maximize the huge amount I paid for it.
I felt a little bit better when I woke up late in the afternoon. Then an idea suddenly came into my mind-that is calling a chat mate who lives in BKK. Even before going to BKK I had the chance of chatting with this very handsome French guy who was kind enough to give me his number. But I did not believe in him at first so I was quite hesitant to call him during my first day in the hotel. But the next day I was determined to call him as I felt the need to do so. I asked the receptionist the favor of contacting him as I failed twice to make it myself. Luckily, the guy answered and the receptionist gave me the signal to speak with him. And ..Awww…he has an accent that sounds funny to my ear and he could not also remember me so I had to explain myself. Thank God at last he remembered me. He promised to come in 30 minutes. I was trembling because of excitement when I put back the phone.
It was 7:45 pm when I received a call from the receptionist informing me that my guest has finally arrived. I spoke with my guest and told him to come into my room. While waiting I could feel my nervousness and excitement. The thought of being visited by a stranger bothered at the same time excited me. In 5 minutes he buzzed, I rushed to the door and opened it…Ohhhhhhhhh my God … I could not believe that it’s him. He’s very real. I immediately let him in and instinctively I asked for a hug (what a shame…me doing the first move). He hugged me and I liked it. Then he looked at me with his very expressive eyes piercing me inside. His presence made me uneasy but just the same I maintained my composure. I tried to explain to him everything and he listened to me attentively. He constantly stared at me as he smiled. So seductive, indeed. He commented that my mistakes are part of my learning of which I absolutely agree. A few more minutes of talking, we just found ourselves kissing and hugging each other and whispering, “I like you very much”. It was a very good feeling for me. That time I secretly thanked God for his unexpected blessing on me. Indeed, all my depressive moments paid off.
We had dinner in a simple restaurant and slept together naked. It was my first time to sleep nude so I was quite shy. Later on, I realized that sleeping nude beside a guy you really want shatters your inhibitions away and gives you a very good feeling. I believe that we spent more time kissing and hugging than sleeping. The next day we had a steamy bath in the shower. The phrase “I love you” suddenly came in. There started our endless exchange of “I love yous”. There started the relationship. But even then I have been feeling him.
My boyfriend, Pierre needed to work that afternoon and I was set to go to kaosan to look for a new place to stay. Through my bf’s advice and guidance I was able to find the hotel where we would stay that night. In the evening after his work, he came to visit me and show me around the nightlife in kaosan. I definitely missed him with in the short span of time that we separated. So I did not waste time or shall I say we did not waste time to hug and kiss each other. We went out that night. We strolled around and made our way out to some partygoers in kaosan area. We headed to a bar where we had refreshments.
The next day I visited the grand palace and Pierre went home to work on his studies. We agreed to meet at WTC in Prathunam at 5 pm. The Grand Palace is truly amazing. Its unique architecture makes it stand out from among the temples I have seen. A visit to this tourist and religious spot made me appreciate more Thai culture.
Due to some problems Pierre and I met at 8 pm instead of 5 pm. We needed to can cel out our plan to go the cinema because I was so tired ( or I just want to be with him). We went to his place and made ourselves comfortable. We ate dinner and slept again naked. Early Sunday morning we woke up and started to make love. I was desperate I wanted to feel him inside me and I could sense his desire to be with me too. We eventually did it and felt so tired specially Pierre who resorted to sleeping afterwards. Time was running quick so I began packing my things while my bf was fats asleep. I liked to stop the time because I hated to go but of course I could not. Two hours passed Pierre finally woke up and driven with the desire to be united once again we made love for the second time. This time it’s wilder as I lost much of my fear and I was filled with passion. The thought of our parting in a few minutes drove me to take the chance to feel him and wow it was ecstatic union, to borrow my bf’s term. We did not make sex indeed because we made love instead. This left me happy and satisfied.
After reaching cloud nine I came back to the painful reality, the moment of truth. I checked my time, it’s 11:30 am and my flight is at 1:50. Pierre and I rushed to the shower and he gave me a bath. I could not help but to sob while he’s gently scrubbing my back. He was doing his best to comfort me and that calmed a bit. We prepared ourselves, ate lunch and we headed to the airport. Well, I was not late at all. I was able to check-in earlier before the boarding time so I still had time with Pierre. We went to a café, talk a little then walk in the airport as we waited for the boarding time. Then I needed to go. Pierre caught me by the arms, pulled me and hugged me tightly. He whispered something and I know what it is. I hugged him back and I entered the boarding gate.
As the plane took off, I felt like crying in my seat. As the plane soared higher I barely had a glimpse of Bkk and my loneliness has increased. The 3-hour flight left me awake as I reminisced the good times that Pierre and I have shared. I enjoyed going over every moment we spent together. Then I was back in Manila. Alighting from the plane I immediately texted my bf informing him that I arrived safely in manila. He texted back and I felt relieved.
When I reached my dormitory I immediately put on the trouser he gave me and called him. We revealed how we miss and love each other. I was no more at his side but just the same at that instant I felt him and have been feeling his love for me till this time.
BKK showered me a different kind of adventure I never expected to experience specially in a foreign land. For this reason, I left my heart voluntarily in BKK because I felt it belonged rightly there. The good memories I had are treasures to cherish. And till these good memories haunt me I would always have a reason to go back to retrieve or reunite my heart with my big love in BKK.